Friday, October 16, 2009


Thank you to all the people who have written and asked if I am okay ....
I am .
Oh yeah ..... I'm just great .... ha ha . No , I really am . I'm just going through a weird time .
I'm trying to figure things out . I'm doing strange things . I think it's because I am 55 .
This is what 55 does :
1. She wears a wool hat and scarf in the house [ because she is freezing ] and 10 minutes later she rips it all off , opens all the windows , turns the fan on full blast [ because she got hot AND claustrophobic ]
2. She fills garbage bags with old books , clothes , old art work , new art work and craft supplies
She puts these huge bags in the driveway and then worries she may regret what she tossed out.
3. She sharpens pencils and starts to draw , abruptly stops and prepares dinner [ and it's only 11 a.m. ]
4. She wants to go for a walk and then she remembers that she doesn't have anything long enough to cover her fat ass , so she thinks she will go for a walk when it's dark [ yeah right ]
5. She wants to paint her kitchen cabinets but then thinks about cleaning all the crud off them first so she loses interest .
6. She thinks ..." I'll make some new curtains " but that means she will have to clean a table and she doesn't have enough fabric for curtains anyway
7. She thinks about dieting while she munches on crackers spread with cream cheese and raisins
8. She wants to read like she used to . She used to devour the classics . She is happy she has gotten through 4 of Tolstoy's short stories in the last week .
9. She forgot that there's laundry in the washing machine . It's been there two days so now it has to be washed again
10. She talks to people in her head..... she thinks she emailed them
11. She feels good and then she walks by a mirror and is surprised by her reflection
12. She is concerned about the direction her country is going in , she wonders if others are shocked by these changes
13. Her anniversary is this week . She is so grateful to have a wonderful husband but she also marvels at the fact that she has cooked nearly everyday for 35 years . How did she come up with so many meals ?
A friend sent the following words to me , and I have added on to them
This is what I know and believe
Regardless of the road you travel .. Lonely Lane , Brokenhearted Boulevard or Poverty Parkway ....
There's no place you can go that God can't follow
No heartbreak , no betrayal, no rejection , no failure , no disappointment and no evil can stop Him from coming near . He cannot fail you . He will never quit you , never forget you and never leave you
He made a promise > I will never leave you nor forsake you
and even when I can't stand myself .... He loves me [ and YOU ]

I am planning on doing a give away very soon . Please come back to visit
and thank you .... you are all wonderful friends to have . I wish you weren't spread all around the country . I wish we could have tea together


Susan said...

Welcome to my world. Add to the list, she lays in bed awake at night, unable to sleep for thinking about things that happened when she was young and then feels guilty the next day when she see the news and realizes that her life, compared to some, was merely inconvenienced. All of these things prove that you are human and not a pod person. I always have at least 5 books lined up waiting for me to read, plus everything I eat gives me acid reflux and I'll always be a year older than you. It all gets better. It has to. We love you and know how you feel. Take care and have a great weekend. Susan

suze said...

Sandy, I would love to have tea with you. You just described my life to a T. Let me tell you..57 has been my downfall. I am doing well with my transplanted kidney, but my brain is not cooperating with me. Oh, I have ideas to create but I Can't Remember S#!t!
Yes I have CRS, and it gets worse every day. Along with ADD - Art Distractin Disorder. But we trudge along. Our anniversary is this week also. It's the 17th.
Have a great weekend and Happy Anniversary! xo Suze

Lydia said...

haha...Ditto, I know that I could say I can relate to just about everything that you listed, and then some.

I think out conversations that were or that may be, or that never will be, but they help to bring clarity to me when I churn things over and over in my head, making me swim much too fast.

Tea with a friend has got to be one of the nicest things to do. So glad to hear that you are ok. So nice to know that so many people think and worry about you.

I love your friend's poem.


ps-Which stories?

Sandy Mastroni said...

Oh you have me laughing ..... so this is really true ?
This is what being in your fifties is all about
Yes I have been thinking of my whole life lately

and Lydia
The short stories I read were ;

' The Three Questions '
'Much Land "
"Wisdom of Children"

Diane Hoeptner said...

Your eloquence is a wonderful thing to behold, Sandy!! I've been wondering what happened to you? Where did you go? What were you doing? I think I have a glimmer of an idea now. (: Big thanks for sharing... Hey, you could always quit that annoying art thing and become a writer. Much LOVE!! I wish the best for you always.

Theresa said...

Sandy, I'm back... and wow it sounds like your week has been crazy but very normal...LOL. :) I forget laundry too but the thing is sometimes I don't remember it until the next wash day...which is once a week Mondays or Tuesday. I also have my instant night sweats... LOL... blankets on...blankets off... blankets on...blankets off... you get the idea. :) This must be a side affect of my condition. :) Anyway I've missed you dear creative one. I'll e-mail you a long note soon. :)

Big Hugs,

PS... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NanaBeast said...

Oh, MY!
I'm 49 and have been experiencing half the things you all have been describing for the last 5 years! Does this mean I will be through it all - and OVER WITH - in another 5 to 6 years? I can hope, can't I?

I've been married for over 30 years, will he still stay with me if I am doing the hot-freezing act, startled to see that person in the mirror who CAN NOT be me, and not able to sleep at night act for the next half decade???

Sandy, 35 years of cooking nearly every day - Yeah, how DID you come up with all those meals? I want to know!

Thanks for sharing the reminder that He will never forsake me and that I can't do anything, or go anywhere that He can't find me! Just what I needed today.

Congratulations to you and Michael. May your marriage grow sweeter and stronger each and every day!

Sue said...

Great post!! I'll be 54 end of Nov. but when menopause hit me at 52 ALL hell broke loose. It started with the cold/hot thing! I had radiation for a meningioma(small, benign) brain tumor on Monday, and I'm at home hyped up on steroids, I haven't had this much energy in years, so I'm thankful for that! A fan of your wonderful art and blog! Keep on keeping on! Sue

Ronnie said...

Thanks for sharing your heart and mind. It helps us. I'm five years older than you and I'm still having hot flashes! I'll let you know when it stops. Congratulations on your anniversary and birthday. I am so bummed I missed them!